I want you
Her right hand moved down to cup his crotch. Ryan covered it, stopping her.
"No, baby," he whispered, shaking his head.
"I want it," she mumbled softly, leaning forward, breathing on his neck.
He gripped her tightly. "You're not feeling okay right now, baby," he said, but his hands moved lower to caress her hips.
"You don't want me?" She drew back to look at him, her eyes becoming glossy.
Ryan sighed. "More than you know, sweet baby. I want to have you, but not like this." He stroked her hair.
"I just want to forget." She lay on his shoulder and he felt her body shiver.
Anger flared in his chest. "Sudie, he didn't touch you, right?"
"No... Well, he held on to my hands and tried to kiss me," she said quietly. "It wasn't like before."
Ryan's heart rate sped up. "Wasn't like before? What wasn't like before? Sudie, what happened?"
She released a heavy sigh and eased back from his shoulder. She was about to pull away completely when Ryan held onto her elbow and guided her closer. "Come over me. I want to feel you," he said softly.
Sudie looked into his eyes and saw desire smoldering in their depths.
He helped her legs over his lap so she could straddle him. Tenderly, he bent his head and kissed her lips.
"Talk to me," Ryan said, when he moved back a little.
Sudie cleared her throat. "He... Claude has kissed me before this." She bowed her head. Ryan's body went rigid.
"The night I heard what you said to Mark I cancelled on Claude. I was hurt about what you said about needing space. As I told you, Dana encouraged me to go see you, so I cancelled on Claude. At work, he told me he had something to show me. We made plans to meet but I didn't go. I called him and told him I wasn't feeling well and was staying home.
"Anyhoo, when I heard what you said I was really angry. I was crying. Claude called to check on me. He heard how I sounded and came over to see me. He saw that I was crying. I told him some of what you said." She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "He held me while I cried, one thing led to another and he kissed me."
Ryan watched her carefully, jealousy expanding in his chest.
"Is that all that happened?"
She nodded, her head still down.
Ryan opened his mouth then closed it, his bottom jaw flexing. He swore under his breath.
"Do you have romantic feelings for him?"
Sudie lifted her head, her eyes filled with panic. "No," she said, shaking her head. "No, I want you."
He touched her face. "Are you sure?"
She nodded. "I was weak. I... You hurt me."
Ryan's heart skipped a beat. "I know," he said quietly. "I'm sorry. It will never happen again. I promise. Give me a chance to prove it."
She leaned on his shoulder. He gently rubbed her back. Lifting her into his arms, he carried her to the bedroom and laid her down. He sat on the edge of the bed and removed his boots. She sat up, watching him.
"What are you doing?"
"Being the man you deserve," he said.
He leaned back on her collection of pillows and reached for her. She eased into his embrace and he squeezed her close to him. He kissed her brow. "Relax. Close your eyes and don't think about anything, okay?"
"You're not upset with me?"
"No," he answered, shaking his head. "I left you vulnerable. If I was paying attention to you like I should have none of this would have happened." He circled his arms around her.
"Baby, Sergeant Crosby called and told me you threw up. What do you think caused that?"
Sudanie sighed. "I don't know. I thought about what you said about Lissa and I wondered if when you touch or kiss me you were thinking about her. I felt sick after."
"Listen to me," he said, cupping her face. "I was an idiot. Very stupid." His hands moved down to caress her bottom. "Sudie, when I kiss you or touch your body it's all about you. My focus is on you. I want you. No one else makes me feel the way you do." He took her hand. "Can I show you?"
She nodded. He kissed her hand then placed it on his crotch. "Feel that? You do that to me."
She looked at him wide eyed. Her eyes fluttered shut and she bit her bottom lip, her fingers curving tentatively around him.
"That's for you, Sue. All I want is you," he reassured her, his voice dipping intimately. "That thing about Lissa was stupid. A foolish moment. That's done. I promise."
"You're sure?"
Ryan swallowed. "Yes, I'm sure. I'm not letting you go," he said quietly. She tightened her hold on him. He groaned softly, dragging his bottom lip between his teeth.
"I should—" His voice trailed off as he stared at her. "I should get going. Before..."
She's beautiful.
He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. Her face softened into a smile.
"That's my baby," he said softly, smiling back at her.
"Shhh... It's okay, baby. It's okay. I love you. Nothing has changed."
She closed her eyes, and he felt the last of the tension leave her — her body yielding, melting into his. He stroked her hair and let her just lie on his chest.
A little later, he made her an omelette with two lightly toasted slices of hard dough bread and brought it to her in the living room. Now, he was strapping on his holster.
Sudanie cleared her throat and he looked up as he secured the belt.
"Thank you for lunch, and for not, you know."
He went to her, his gaze filled with affection. "I love you," he said simply. "I want you to feel safe with me." He reached down and cupped her face with both hands.
"So..." she said, smiling at him shyly.
Ryan smiled. "So?" One eyebrow lifting in curiosity.
"Are we still on for this weekend to stay over? I mean, if you want to."
Ryan's smile broadened. "Yes, if you want to. If you're up to it, I'll come for you Friday."
She nodded. "Yes, I want to. I don't want to stay here."
He squeezed her hand. "You can stay with me this weekend." He needed to talk to Sergeant Crosby about his next move.
"Sudie, baby, I have to go, okay? Keep the door locked." A thought crossed his mind. He cupped her face with his left hand.
"Baby?"
She stared into his eyes.
"Would you like me to sleep over tonight?"
Sudanie's eyebrows lifted.
"I won't touch you in any way that will make you feel uncomfortable." He took a quick breath. "You can trust me. I won't take advantage..."
"Yes," she said, not wanting him to change his mind.
He paused. A beat. "You sure?"
She nodded. "Yes, I want you here. You can stay over tonight." She bent forward to kiss him and he kissed her back.
"It's just cuddling, okay? Nothing more."
She nodded, watching him intently.
Something else dawned on him. "Baby, does Claude have a key to your front door?"
She shook her head.
"Were you the one who let him in?"
Sudanie froze. "N-No... He dropped me off this morning and stayed with me for a while. The nurse gave me something to calm my nerves. I fell asleep." She looked around the room, trying to remember.
Ryan observed her closely.
"Do you know what she gave you?"
"No," she said, shaking her head.
He cleared his throat.
She squeezed his hand. He leaned closer, his eyes alert.
"What is it?"
"When I stepped out of the shower I heard him in the living room. I didn't know it was him, but when I asked who it was, he answered. I locked my bedroom door and told him to wait. I had been crying..."
"Crying in the shower?" he asked, interrupting her.
She nodded, eyes wide. "I tried to hide that from him, but Claude always knows when something is off with me. At first he just held me." She sighed. "Then he told me he bought a house and that he could provide for me."
Ryan's lips pursed into a thin line. "He said that?"
"Yes."
"What did you say to him?"
"I told him we're just friends, that I only saw him as a friend. After that he tried to kiss me."
Ryan hissed his teeth. "Sudie, I was standing by the door. I heard you tell him you still care about me."
Her eyes darted away from his direct stare. She moved back but his hands pulled her close. "I called your name several times. My colleagues dropped me off here."
He kissed her hair. "I was calling your name and knocking on the door, but I didn't hear your voice. I tried the door and it opened. I know you usually lock your front door so that kind of scared me. And I saw the squad car parked outside."
Sudanie shifted uncomfortably. Ryan reluctantly loosened his hold on her.
"He said you didn't deserve me," she said quietly, "but I told him I still care for you. I think that made him angry. He tried holding me down to kiss me. I was about to kick him in the nuts when you called at the door." She tried to pull away from him. Ryan's hold on her tightened.
"Breathe through it, baby," he said. "I'm here. I'm coming over tonight and I'll drop you at work tomorrow." He could feel her trembling.
"Don't talk to him at work tomorrow. I will deal with him. After I'm done with him he'll wish he never knew you."
His phone hummed as it vibrated, breaking the tension between them. His gaze drifted down to his thigh.
"That's probably my team," he said. He didn't want to leave her. Picking up his phone, he answered, "Hello. Yes, I'm ready. Be out in a minute."
He hung up. "It's them." He released her and moved back, his body already yearning for her warmth and softness. Sudanie leaned towards him. He brushed his hand on her face.
"I love you," he told her, holding her gaze.
She nodded and reached for him. He hugged her tight, stood up and walked to the door.
"Keep the door locked." He turned to look at her, a thin smile on his lips.
She nodded, putting her hands in her lap.
"I'll call you when I'm five minutes away." He made the telephone sign with his hand.
She nodded. "Okay," she said.
"Okay," he said, with a brief nod. He opened the door and stepped outside, pulling it shut.
Sudanie went to the door and locked it. She looked back at the empty space. The untouched sandwich on a square plate on the coffee table.
Walking back to the couch, she sat down and lifted the sandwich to her mouth. She bit into it and chewed slowly. She didn't have an appetite, but knew she had to eat something. Looking around at the quiet room, a feeling of panic rose in her chest. She swallowed and took a breath, pushing it back down.
She took a bigger bite, chewing slowly. The last thing she needed was to choke on hard dough bread. The sandwich was quite tasty. She wished she was in a better mood to enjoy it.
She smiled a little as she thought of Ryan. A feeling of gratitude bloomed in her chest. A quietness settled over her. He made her feel safe. In spite of what he said about Lissa, he did show he cared for her. She was willing to give him another chance.
Sudanie leaned back on the couch and lifted her feet, bending her knees to get comfortable. She took another bite, chewed carefully and swallowed. She was looking forward to being near him tonight.
He did what?!
Ryan arrived at the New Kingston Police Station at exactly 19:15. He would have gotten there earlier, but Sergeant Blake pulled what happened at Sudanie's house out of him a piece at a time. She said she would help him discreetly. He told her thank you and rushed out the door.
Ryan parked his vehicle and headed to the front desk. He ran into Sergeant Crawford who nodded at him, but did not smile. Ryan nodded back and walked past him. As he entered the reception area, he saw Sergeant Reynolds just signing out.
Mark looked up after he wrote the time he was clocking out. "Weh yah duh yah?" he asked.
Ryan grimaced. "I'm sorry about the other day."
Mark faced him. "Mi nuh want nuh apology from yuh."
"You know what you did was wrong," Ryan said, walking further into the room.
Mark straightened up, looking up at his colleague. "I would do it again, if necessary," he said.
Ryan stared at him for a while, then asked, "Why? Do you like Constable Walker?"
Mark shook his head, standing to his feet. "No, she's like my little sister. She's such a sweet girl. I would be pissed if you hurt her."
Ryan shifted on his feet and looked at the floor. He cleared his throat. "I trusted you. I was glad you were there. I thought you could help me to clear my head."
Mark chuckled softly. "Suh it clear now?"
Ryan lifted his head and nodded. "Very clear," he said, his shoulders rigid
A look past across Mark's face. He came closer. "What's wrong?"
Ryan shook his head. "I'm here to see Sergeant Crosby. Is he here?"
Mark nodded, a perplexing look on his face. "Yeah, he's in the Property Room. He should be out soon."
Ryan nodded. "Is Corporal Barracks still here?"
Mark shook his head indicating no. "I'm still angry that you hit me, considering I am your superior, but maybe I had it coming. I'll make sure to mind my business from now on."
Ryan nodded, a rueful smile on his face. "I am sorry I hit you. I'll smooth things out with you soon. You know how it guh."
Sergeant Reynolds smiled back. "Okay, we'll see."
Mark put down the pen. He could feel that something was not right with Corporal Stewart. "Something is wrong, I can feel it."
Ryan moved to walk past, heading in the direction of the corridor that led to the back of the station.
"Is this about Sudie?"
Ryan stopped, his shoulders lifting. Mark came up behind him. "She is like a sister to me."
"You just said you would mind your business from now on," Ryan answered. He turned to look at his friend.
Mark chuckled, then sobered, his face a mask of seriousness. "Spill it."
"Corporal Barracks tried to hold down Constable Walker to kiss her," Ryan said. His chest felt too tight to breathe normally.
"He did what?!" Mark said, his eyes wide, mouth agape.
They heard footsteps echoing down the hall moving towards them. Ryan focused his attention behind Mark's head and was relieved to see Sergeant Crosby and Constable Campbell coming their way.
Constable Campbell rushed forward. "Yuh have the nerve to come here at this time of night. What yuh want?! Yah wicked! How could you say those things about Mrs Marx knowing you have Sudie thinking you like her?!"
She charged at him, but Sergeant Crosby was quick to grab her arm. "Hold it right there, Constable Campbell. I will not allow you to strike another sub-officer under my watch," he said sternly.
Mark looked at Ryan, who averted his eyes and cleared his throat. "As I said..." Ryan said quietly.
Mark nodded. "Mhmm..."
Dana stopped and looked at both men. "What is happening here?" Her intense stare locked on Sergeant Reynolds. "And you! How could you allow her to hear that?!"
She tried to push towards him, but Shane held her firm.
"Sarge, let me go! These men need to be taught a lesson!"
Mark's eyebrows lifted. Little girl, you do not want none of this, he wanted to say. Instead, he cleared his throat and said, "It was wrong what I did. You don't need to act up. I will apologize to her tomorrow."
"You're the reason she fell sick today," Dana shot back.
Mark turned to Ryan. "She was ill?"
Ryan nodded.
Mark rubbed his right hand over his face. He genuinely felt bad. "I'll apologize before I go on duty tomorrow."
Ryan nodded.
"Calm down, baby. I need to talk to Ryan about something."
"About Sudie?" she asked, turning her gaze on Sergeant Crosby.
He came closer and cupped her face with both hands. "Baby, you trust me?"
"Shane..."
"Ah, uh... I asked you a question," Shane said, his lips quirking up into a smile.
Dana looked into his eyes, saw him teasing and chuckled softly. "Yes," she said with a tiny sigh, "I trust you."
Shane bent forward and very gently brushed his lips on hers. Dana's body leaned into him. He lifted his head and kissed her brow. "I won't take long," he said.
Turning his gaze to Ryan, he nodded and moved towards the armoury. Ryan walked behind. He heard footsteps and looking back, saw Mark following them.
After they entered the room, Mark closed the heavy armoury door. Shane stared at him, confused. "This is a private discussion between Corporal Stewart and I, Mark."
Mark nodded, then said, "Understood, but since he already told me what's happening, and it's about my favorite person at this station, I'm staying."
Shane looked at Ryan. "What did you tell him?" he asked, eyes assessing his old squad mate.
Ryan sighed and pulled up a wooden stool.
There was a wooden bench in the corner of the room. Mark went for it, pulled it to the center of the room and sat down, leaving Shane standing. Shane grunted, crossing his arms. "Everyone comfortable now?"
Mark nodded.
Shane cast his gaze on Corporal Stewart. "Talk."
Ryan took a deep breath and released it slowly. "Corporal Barracks held down Constable Walker and tried to kiss her."
Shane's body went completely still. His eyes narrowed. "Repeat what you just said."
"You heard—"
Shane snapped his hand up, cutting Mark off without looking at him.
He moved closer to Ryan, anger radiating off him. "Say that again."
Ryan looked up at him, forcing himself to hold his gaze. "After you called me I asked my Sergeant for time to go see Sudie." He took an unsteady breath.
"A squad car was there already. I went to the door and it wasn't locked. Sudie always locks her front door." He cleared his throat. His eyes drifted to the floor. He couldn't stand looking at his superior's dark countenance.
"I entered the house and called for her but she didn't answer. I waited a few minutes, then I heard talking in the bedroom. So I went to listen. He was trying to get her to kiss him and she was clearly struggling against him. I heard her tell him no.
"I tried to get in to stop him, but the door was locked. That was when I banged on the door and shouted for her to open it." He took another shuddering breath. "She opened it for me." He looked up at Shane, the gravity of it in his voice. "She didn't know he locked the door. Sarge... he locked the door."
Mark stood up so fast his bench scraped the concrete floor. He placed his hand over his mouth, turning his back to them as reality hit him.
"Did she let you in?" Shane asked, his voice tight.
"Yes," Ryan answered. His lips suddenly felt dry. He pulled them in, moistening them with his saliva.
"We almost got into a fight, he and I."
"Almost?!" Mark whirled around, his temper hot. "You love to swing! If there was a time you hit someone it should have been then!"
Shane gave Mark the side-eye but said nothing. Instead, he kept his focus on Ryan. "Did you hit him?"
Ryan shook his head. "I wanted to, but Sudie blocked me. She threw him out though."
"Where is she now?" Mark asked.
"At home," Ryan answered.
"Misconduct. That is the word for a situation like this! Shit!" Mark spat out, his hands curling into fists. "I'm still upset with you about what you did, make no mistake, but I'll forget it for now. Sudie is more important right now."
Shane stared at the two men, feeling a little confused. "Hol' on. Backtrack. Mark, weh you ah talk 'bout?"
Mark averted his eyes, looking at the wall. Shane turned on Ryan. "Corporal, as your superior officer, I order you to—"
"I punched Sergeant Reynolds," Ryan interrupted quietly, keeping his head down.
Shane looked at Mark, who still had his back to them, then turned to Ryan again, his voice drooping an octave. "Talk!"
Something's wrong
Outside the heavy door, Dana pressed her ear against the metal frame and tried to catch the conversation, but couldn't hear anything. Frustrated, she walked back to the reception area and pulled out her phone. 'This must be about my best friend,' she mused. She would go straight to the source. Tapping into her call log, she selected Sudanie's number.
The phone rang five times, then went straight to voicemail. "Forget this!" she muttered angrily. Swiping out of the call screen into messages, she sent off a quick text to Shane.
Dana: I'm going over to Sudie's house. You can meet me there.
She grabbed her work bag and headed out the front door, just in time to see the next shift walking in. She gave a curt nod to Inspector Simpson and eight other officers trailing behind him.
"You alone here?" Inspector Simpson asked.
Dana smiled at Constables Morrant and Sangster. Sangster winked at her, but Morrant gave a polite smile. Dana winked back at Sangster, making him chuckle softly.
"No, not me alone," Dana replied, refocusing her attention on Simpson. "Sergeants Crosby and Reynolds are in the armoury with Corporal Stewart."
Morrant's expression transformed into something boyish. "Stewie deh yah?" He immediately moved towards the passageway leading to the armoury, but Dana called after him.
"It's kind of a private meeting. Don't disturb them."
"A private meeting?" Sangster asked, a frown creasing his face.
Dana nodded, a faint smile on her lips.
Inspector Simpson's intelligent eyes assessed her carefully. "Everything okay?"
She nodded. "I think so." Her smile wavered. "I gotta go."
"Not waiting for Shane?" Inspector Simpson asked, his left eyebrow lifting.
She shook her head. "Heading somewhere first before going home."
His gaze raked slowly over her face. "Okay," he said, deciding to let what he wanted to ask go.
Hoisting the bag over her shoulder, Dana signed out quickly on the roster sheet, and headed through the front door. Constable Sangster came up behind Inspector Simpson.
"Something's wrong," he said quietly.
"Mhm..."
Constable Morrant went to the sign in desk and logged in, then he opened the heavy ledger of the Station Diary and flipped through the pages. "Everything seems in order," he said.
Simpson grunted. His eyes were still on the door. Something unsettling was growing in his gut.
Where are you?
Sudanie turned onto her back as her phone rang. Groaning softly, she stretched and reached for it.
"Hello," she said, her voice raspy.
"It's me."
Her heart rate spiked immediately. "What do you want?" Her voice coming out broken and heavy.
Claude sighed. "Sudz, I'm sorry about earlier. I care about you. I got carried away. Forgive me." A pause. "I need to talk to you."
A horn blasted outside her door, blaring through her phone receiver.
"Where are you?" she asked, her throat closing.






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